It doesn’t take too long after giving birth to be bombarded with “unsolicited” advice. What’s true, and what’s not? These are the most common 4 myths of baby sleep.
The moment I gave birth to my first child, like most mothers, I was filled with happiness, empowerment, gratitude and love. Then, even before leaving the recovery room, I was equally buried in advice, suggestions, and information.
I’m sure the whole thing was done with the best intentions, but the speed at which all this new information kept coming was overwhelming nonetheless. In my first year as a mother, I heard the words “You should,” “You’ll want to,” and “You’ve got to.” I could count the seconds before someone threw me one of those phrases right after the “Oh my gosh, she is so cute!” I have witnessed those feelings of love and gratitude, along with the recommendations, ever since.
This is coming from a childcare expert. I can only imagine the tidal waves of advice that must overwhelm a mother who asks for it openly. Being a mom is anything but casual – it’s a full-time job, whether you stay at home or work 9 to 5 (or anything in between). It can be hard to sift through all the data available at our fingertips these days – from the internet, to the whole aisle dedicated to motherhood and parenting in Indigo, and even our mothers-in-law! Everyone’s got an opinion about kids, even more so than politics, and it can be tough to pick out what’s fact from what’s fiction. ‘d like to focus on my area of expertise: sleep, and dispel some of the more popular myths I’ve seen in parenting forums, heard from Mom groups I’ve spoken to, or had angrily shouted on my Facebook page.
Baby Sleep Myth #1
Baby will stay up at night if he or she sleeps too much during the day. Everyone knows that babies sleep a lot. There is a need for it. They are learning at a huge speed and that’s exhausting! So, unless your baby is sleeping practically all day and staying up all night, you probably don’t have to worry about how long their naps are. Newborns are in special need of lots of sleep, but I don’t recommend that your little one be awake for more than about 2 – 21/2 hours at a time until about 6 months. For newborns, that number is more like 45 minutes to an hour. Being exhausted doesn’t always lead to a full night’s rest for babies; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. When an infant has gone too long without sleep, they’ve missed their internal “tired” signal, and instead of winding down into sleep, their bodies kick back into full gear, which causes problems when trying to nod off. Making sure baby gets enough rest during the day helps avoid missing the sleep window. Besides, we don’t want our little ones to get to the point of exhaustion. There are substantial variations depending on baby’s age and the length of their naps, but it is not uncommon for baby to sleep around 5 hours a day outside of nighttime sleep until they are 6 months old, so if your little one is still within those guidelines, let them snooze.
Baby Sleep Myth #2
The act of sleeping is a natural development that cannot be taught.
Everyone wakes up and falls back to sleep multiple times a night, regardless of age. So, no, you can’t teach your child to sleep. What can be taught, however, is the ability to fall back to sleep on their own. It’s not that a “bad sleeper” baby needs less sleep or is more likely to wake up; it’s just that they have learned to rely on outside assistance to get back to sleep when they wake up. It is only when your child learns how to get to sleep without assistance from outside sources that they begin stringing those sleep cycles together effortlessly, and that is the secret to “sleeping through the night,” as most parents realize.
Baby Sleep Myth #3
It is natural for babies to dictate their own sleep schedules.
Honestly, it is laughable to think that infant physiology is so flawlessly, naturally programmed to regulate a baby’s schedule. Nature does not provide us with babies ready to run like the blue wildebeest. (Seriously? Walking six minutes after birth? Outrunning predators within a day? Our babies are cuter but clearly aren’t ready for battle right out of the womb.)
Our babies require substantial attention and support for their growth, and if their sleep cycles are not monitored carefully, they can become drastically unpredictable. Even a slight shift in the cycle by a meagre half an hour can result in heightened cortisol production, giving them drastic power surges. As much as we would love it if our little ones could just go to sleep when they are weary, that’s sadly not how things work. Although it is important to be mindful of their cues, do not solely depend on them.
Baby Sleep Myth #4
The process of sleep training can be stressful for the baby and can negatively impact the parent-child bond. The American Academy of Pediatrics is a reliable source of baby health information, and this was shown in a 2016 study conducted by eight of their leading researchers. The study declared that behavioural intervention, or sleep training, results in “significant sleep benefits” with no long-term negative effects on the attachment between parent and child, nor any related problems concerning the child’s emotions or behaviour. The evidence speaks for itself.
Finally, when you hear that sleeping through the night is not “designed” for babies, I would like you to remember that, in spite of our religious beliefs, I believe we can all agree that, even if babies were “designed” somehow, those who designed them left plenty of room for improvement. It is a recipe for disaster to rely on your child’s physiology to determine their sleep schedule, eating habits, behaviour, or just about any aspect of their development. Is your toddler designed to eat three pounds of gummi bears? Certainly not. Will they eat it if you don’t intervene? Without a doubt! Is your baby designed to avoid predators? Then, no one told my children, who would have happily hugged the bear that visited our cabin last winter ( I still have to remind them wild animals don’t hug!). Our little ones need our expertise and authority to guide them through their early years and probably will for decades after that. This is especially true when it comes to their sleep. Some babies are naturally gifted sleepers, for sure, but don’t rely on the advice of those who tell you that babies should dictate their schedules. You’re in charge because you know best, even if it sometimes does not feel like it.
There are obviously plenty more myths and misconceptions surrounding babies and their sleep habits, but these are some of the most important facts.
Remember, endless posts on social media and websites portray themselves as factual, but nothing stops them from making that claim, regardless of their accuracy or basis in actual scientific evidence. Google Scholar is a great place to find peer-reviewed scientific studies on all things baby-related and trusted sources like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Institutes of Health, Canada’s Hospital for Sick Children, the World Health Organization, and other national children’s health organizations are excellent sources of information you can feel confident about using to answer questions about your baby’s health.
If you want more information about the benefits of sleep, want to have a quick consultation, or need one-on-one sleep support, do not hesitate to book me for a chat.
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